If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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