We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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