Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
