You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
