New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
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