So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
