i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
