The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
