That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
