we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
