just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
