He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize
