Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
