Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Holy shit dude........stairs
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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