Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
