dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
