he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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