Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
