Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
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