the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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