She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
