I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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