Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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