Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Randomize
