Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
