There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
