He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Just invented taco cereal.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
