I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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