he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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