just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
