he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
