your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
