I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
