Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
