that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
It's blow job season.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
