Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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