on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
His nipple licking is glorious
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