For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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