billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
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