Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
