he puts the penis in happiness.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Someone shattered a urinal.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
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