Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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