When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
