Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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