super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
