glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
oh god the rape fog is back!
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
