i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Randomize
