Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
