I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
