So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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