Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Found the puke drawer
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
