she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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